Letters to a Future Love No. 6
Dear Mr Maybe,
It’s been a weird day.
I spent too little time sleeping, too much time in my head, and now I’m feeling antsy, irritated and unsettled.
Would you be the one to tease me me out of my directionless anger?
To playfully provoke me until I’m so distracted by your infectious smile and the cheeky glint in your eyes that I’m laughing with you?
Until I’m caught up in the simple happiness of just being with you.
I can’t wait to laugh with you, to watch the corners of your eyes crinkle, to find out if you have dimples.
I can’t help but wonder if I already have, if these are things I already know.
Maybe it’s not that I don’t know who you are, maybe it’s that I don’t know who you could be to me…
Will you tell me? When the time is right and you’re sure I’m what you want?
Because I won’t ask, that takes far bigger balls than I came equipped with and I can’t quite bring myself to take the risk, I won’t even tell you if you’re on my mind.
Not until I know I’m on yours.
I’ll just smile a little bigger, laugh a little harder, and try to pretend that I remember there are other people in the room.
Maybe you’ll be able to tell anyway. I’ve always been one to wear my feelings on my face, I keep my lips closed tight around my secrets but they’re always in my eyes, staining my cheeks.
Are you looking?